The doctors took the family aside and told us she was in the end-stage of emphysema and we should prepare ourselves. So I did. I was terrified, the thought of losing my mom was paralyzing. I lay awake at night for hours trying to feel how it would feel to see her dead. Why? Because… Continue reading Trauma Response: Dress Rehearsal for Catastrophe
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Perspective: Sassy Split Pea Soup
This lifetime started out pretty rocky for me. My mother was 16 when I was born and by the time I was five my birth father had left and Mom moved on to another marriage. By the time I was eight my stepdad had relocated us to the mountains west of Boulder, CO. One shivering… Continue reading Perspective: Sassy Split Pea Soup
What’s In A Name? Everything!
In her book, The Power of Names, Mavis Himes writes that a name “is like an elongated shadow attached at our heels.” For most, our name was given to us by others, usually parents, and then left for us to internalize that name and all that it means. It can be a gift or it… Continue reading What’s In A Name? Everything!
Walking Away From Where I’ve Been
I always get to where I’m going by walking away from where I have been. Winnie the Pooh Like many, my childhood was wrought with trauma. Not just from the physical and emotional abuse I suffered at home, but also from teachers who teased and humiliated me when I pronounced words incorrectly. Then there were… Continue reading Walking Away From Where I’ve Been
People Plan, God Laughs: Living Life on Life’s Terms
There is a saying: pain is an inevitable part of life but suffering is always optional. Suffering is defined as our resistance to what is here now. Learning to sit in the discomfort of the fire–the pain–is the path to finding true inner peace. And this is really all we want. At the time of… Continue reading People Plan, God Laughs: Living Life on Life’s Terms
The Oak: Resting in the Arms of the Divine
My naive little 5 year old self, already lost in the confusion and uncertainty of life, decided one day that she must be bad, so bad that God herself had turned away, rejecting her completely. She wasn’t sure why this happened, what she did to make God so angry with her. She just knew that… Continue reading The Oak: Resting in the Arms of the Divine
Step Out Of The Muck: Trust in the Flow
I’ve experienced the joy of rafting some pretty amazing rivers in my lifetime. And I’ve experienced some hair-raising rapids. The first time I got tossed into the river I panicked and nearly drowned because, even though I had a lifejacket on, I resisted the river and her currents. I got pretty banged up from the… Continue reading Step Out Of The Muck: Trust in the Flow
How To Throw the Perfect Pity Party
I’m feeling very sorry for myself today so I’ve decided to throw myself a little party, a pity party. No one is invited (you can have your own party), not accepting gifts or advice, just pity–all the pity I can afford. Many years ago when I was in the throes of divorcing my first husband… Continue reading How To Throw the Perfect Pity Party
Presence: Our True Nature
My husband, Craig, was a meditator. He made it look easy to pop out of our bed early in the morning and sit lotus-style on his cushion. He’d wrap a soft shawl around his shoulders, close his eyes and sit for at least an hour. No hoopla, no ritual or ceremony, he didn’t light a… Continue reading Presence: Our True Nature
Am I Shoulding on Myself?
I am a busy woman. I have a long list of projects that I should do. Everything from dealing with everyday household chores to updating my website, demands my attention—sometimes all at the same time. So I make lists. I love making lists for a number of reasons. Of course there is the pleasure I… Continue reading Am I Shoulding on Myself?