Sitting at the bedside of our wounds.
Over the years, I have sat and held the hands of the victims of rape and incest with only my heart and a box of tissues to offer. Those moments inspired me to dedicate myself to helping improve human rights for all, especially for women and children.
Although I’ve had many conversations with victims, I have rarely spoken with the perpetrators. However, I did hear the confessions of two men who abused a family member. Both admitted what they did and took full responsibility for the egregious pain they inflicted.
Did their apologies help?
An apology will never erase the pain. However, acknowledging the wrong and taking responsibility for their actions can be the beginning of healing for both the victim and the villain.
One of those two men was my stepfather. His apology didn’t erase what he did to me when I was nine years old. But it made a significant impact on my healing.
Attending to My Wounds
See not pain and love as separate. For to live a full and present life is for love to be the attendant at the bedside of each of our wounds.
Chelan Harkin
What if we could see our pain, our wounds, not as separate but as part of who we are? Could we kneel down to love and begin to heal?
My healing has been a long, arduous, but beautiful journey. I’ve spent many years kneeling at the bedside of this wound. Is it healed? Yes and no.
Yes, I’ve come to terms with what happened. I have forgiven the abuser and moved on. The wound has been healing over and does not wake me up in the middle of the night anymore.
No, because, although rare, I can still get triggered. Recently, the wound reopened. We US citizens managed to elect a misogynistic, abusive rapist to the highest office in the country. I felt betrayed; fear grabbed me by the throat and dragged me, kicking and screaming down a way-too-familiar path.
I knew all I could do was surrender to all these emotions: hate, fear, anger, betrayal. And to breathe. And to share my feelings with friends and family.
After days of meeting and exploring these challenging and at times terrifying emotions, the fog began to lift. Then I was ready to attend to my freshly opened wounds.
Listening to the Voice of Our Soul.
Awareness. It is essential to express these feelings to those who have the capacity to listen with their hearts. It is equally vital to be available to those same people and to listen with an open heart.
Acceptance. From here, we can accept how we feel without the need to fix or resolve, without the need to judge. Our emotions are never good or bad, right or wrong. Our emotions are the voice of our soul, nudging us towards healing.
Action. Empowering ourselves involves getting grounded and moving back into presence. We do this through meditation, mindful movement, breathwork, and journaling.
As we kneel in attendance to our wounds, we heal them. We initiate the energy of love, the high-vibration energy that heals all wounds.
The great redemption of our pain is the reunion with love.
Chelan Harkin
Breathe. Be kind. Be tender. Be love.
Note: Chelan Harkin quotes from her book, The Prophetess: The Return of The Prophet from the Voice of The Divine Feminine.