The Companionship of Presence
Since childhood, I’ve had this overwhelming need to have something to say. As a kid and a young woman, this desire led me to blurt things out, usually without thinking through what I wanted to share. And, as one can imagine, this often caused people to move away or ignore me, or worse, chastise me in some way.
I learned to curtail these bursts and to be more mindful of what I wanted to convey. I did this at first from a space of wanting to fit in and do the right thing. This then morphed into wanting to help others, to have answers, which was frustrating because, in truth, I rarely had answers. Again, this was my sweet Ego’s way of finding validation.
Many years ago, I studied with Satsang teacher, Neelam, who taught the Inquiry process – a way of holding sacred space for those seeking answers. This is not a process designed to resolve someone’s issues for them but rather a way of coming home to the comfort and companionship of Presence.
Here, I am now guided to sense the difference between meeting someone exactly where they are and pulling them toward where I’ve already been.
The first feels like sitting beside someone in the grass. The second, even when well-intentioned, can subtly take their path away from them.
When presented with a question – directly or on a social media platform – I first have to acknowledge that urge to reply. When I feel this need arise, I stop, breathe, and ask, Why do I want to respond?
And I wait.
“Because it is the right thing to do — you must help!” Ego whispers, wanting to be validated, heard.
“Not every question needs an answer.” Heart reminds. “Sometimes another only needs to be witnessed.”
And here, something quieter rises. A reminder that presence can be more generous than advice. That companionship can be more healing than guidance.
I’m learning that what most of us want isn’t advice or even certainty, but permission to simply be here — just as we are.
To be met.
To be seen.
To be welcomed home.
Maybe kindness is enough.
Maybe tenderness is the teaching.
Our voice is a bridge between the inner world and the outer world. — Lee Byrd
This reflection lives alongside the larger body of work I’m shaping in my forthcoming book, The Seven Gates of Inner Light.
You are so right, Lee! I’ve revealed some pretty personal stuff on Medium, but the comments I treasure are the ones that convey “I understand,” or “I hear you” – rather than those that seem to think I’ve asked for advice when I haven’t. Advice is actually a little insulting, because it assumes I hadn’t already thought of it myself!
Yes, it took me years to learn that I didn’t have to have a solution or an answer to everyone’s issues. I learned that holding sacred space, perhaps with a reminder to notice the breath, was very often what was really needed. We simply want to be seen.
Thank you for reading and for replying here. Sending you many blessings for peace!