Coming Home to Myself

People Plan, God Laughs

Lord Honey Bear had a favorite saying: People plan, God laughs. It took a field of very hungry deer to show me exactly what he meant. There was a time, many years ago, when growing marijuana wasn’t just frowned upon—it was illegal. Naturally, Lord Honey Bear, Lord Greenjeans, and I decided it sounded like a… Continue reading People Plan, God Laughs

Lady Uppity Throws a Pity Party

Lady Uppity woke up feeling spectacularly sorry for herself. She briefly considered resisting it. Then she remembered the rules. If you’re going to throw a pity party… throw an excellent one. With great determination, she flung herself across the sofa, placed the back of one hand dramatically against her forehead, and released a sigh worthy… Continue reading Lady Uppity Throws a Pity Party

The Day the Buick Ran Out of Gas

The Buick was the plan. The Porsche became the story.

Lady Uppity had imagined motherhood beginning with grace and dignity. Instead, she found herself attempting to fold a very pregnant body into a Porsche because someone had forgotten to put gas in the Buick. She weighed all of ninety-eight pounds when she became pregnant—a mere wisp of a woman, her doctor remarked rather condescendingly. He… Continue reading The Day the Buick Ran Out of Gas

Wobbling

Every step became a conversation.

Lady Uppity had become well acquainted with wobbling. It hadn’t always been that way. Once upon a time, she walked without giving a single thought to where her feet might land. Then, one February morning a few years ago, life insisted she pay attention. She woke in pain. Intense inflammation had settled into her body,… Continue reading Wobbling

Love Leaves Fingerprints That Often Don’t Appear Until Years Later

Some gardens bloom long after the flowers are gone.

Lord Honey Bear loved to grow things. Not just vegetables or wildflowers, though he grew those beautifully. He grew gardens wherever life gave him a little patch of earth. Even the barren top of Lost Mesa, stripped nearly bare after years of overgrazing, became, in his hands, a place where native grasses swayed, and wildflowers… Continue reading Love Leaves Fingerprints That Often Don’t Appear Until Years Later

Lady Uppity Drops the Charges

The door had been unlocked for years. Lady Uppity simply had to realize she was free to walk through it.

Forgiving Herself for Past Mistakes The discovery that she had spent so much of her life abandoning herself in an effort to be loved and accepted took Lady Uppity’s breath away. As she sat in the early morning light, sipping her coffee and wondering what might come next, she felt an unexpected surge, like the… Continue reading Lady Uppity Drops the Charges

How Am I Not Myself

She was never not herself.

Refusing to Abandon Ourselves A few evenings ago, while watching a movie with Lady Birdsong, a single line caught Lady Uppity’s attention: How am I not myself? The question lingered. The longer she sat with it, the stranger it became, so much so that she set her wine glass down and jotted a note in… Continue reading How Am I Not Myself

Lady Uppity and the Open Door

Lady Uppity discovers that the door has been open all along. The key was never the problem.

Lady Uppity had spent years looking for the key. She searched for it in books, workshops, relationships, and the opinions of people she wasn’t even sure she liked. Surely, someone somewhere held the key to the life she longed for. No wonder she was exhausted. As a young girl, Lady Uppity struggled in school. Written… Continue reading Lady Uppity and the Open Door

There’s No Place Like Home

Sometimes home is not a place, but the moment we stop abandoning ourselves.

Lady Uppity considered herself a spiritually evolved woman until one burst pipe and three industrial drying fans revealed she was, in fact, still deeply attached to predictability. It started one warm spring morning. Lady Uppity did what she always does — she finished her morning meditation, made a cup of coffee, settled into her outrageously… Continue reading There’s No Place Like Home

There Was Now a Moon Circle on Thursdays

Sometimes the kingdom changes quietly — one garden, one laugh, one moon circle at a time.

Lady Uppity had slowly, finally, stopped assigning authorship of her inner state to other people. She now recognized just how deeply she had betrayed herself by remaining tethered to others’ opinions and needs. The atmosphere of the kingdom of Proper Behavior — so named by the Duke of Worrington — was changing. Once, it had… Continue reading There Was Now a Moon Circle on Thursdays